


Don't Trust a Space Cat

by Firethekitty



Category: Space ☆ Dandy
Genre: M/M, Praise Kink, dandy is a super virgin, dont fuck an alien, lmao no shame at all, this is rly gross try and stop me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 01:23:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7824730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firethekitty/pseuds/Firethekitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dandy and Meow stumble upon a strange cat-like alien.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Trust a Space Cat

**Author's Note:**

> sorry

"The radar is detecting something. We're pretty far away from any civilized planet, so there might be some new aliens on this one," QT said, analyzing the ship's radar for any heat signatures.

"I guess so. We're desperate at this point so what the hell," Dandy muttered, putting down his galaxy magazine and stretching his arms upwards. Meow only grunted in agreement. Almost daily, the Aloha Oe crew attempted to find an unregistered alien. The reward money was immediately blown away, but on mostly necessities. The team had been in a slump lately, and were desperate to find some kind of unusual creature.

The ship lowered into the atmosphere, Meow and Dandy looking frantically out the window for anything alive. They landed gently on an expanse of dirt.

Meow and Dandy cautiously exited the Aloha Oe, stepping down into the lush mulch. The two glanced around. Meow spotted a tall plant-like structure a ways away.

"Let's go to that big green thing, yeah?" Meow suggested, already walking forward towards it.

"Registration doesn't accept plants, remember?" Dandy followed him nonetheless, plucking his gun from his back pocket.

"Yeah but there must be something there; some kind of alien." Meow and Dandy made tired small talk as they walked towards the alien structure.

"Oh maybe I should've told them... No, I'm sure they'll be fine," QT said, returning to his cleaning routine.

-

About half a mile into the planet's wilderness, Meow was tapped on the back by someone.

"What?"

"What?" Dandy repeated.

"You poked me," Meow said with an air of annoyance.

"I didn't poke you." Dandy looked left at his cat companion. "How could I poke you if I'm to your right?"

Meow rolled his eyes, falling into step behind Dandy. Many feet later, someone grabbed at Dandy's ankle.

"What now?"

"Huh?"

"You touched my foot."

Meow lowered his eyelids, "I didn't." Dandy groaned in irritation.

The two saw a very quick flash of light blue.

"Did you see that?" Dandy asked, stopping in his tracks.

"Yeah. Do you think it was an alien?" Meow responded, looking around the now forest setting.

"Hope so. Can you use your cat-reflexes to catch it?"

"Well, for starters, I'm not a cat," Meow started grabbing around himself, hoping that there was a chance at catching whatever it was. The blue figure danced around them before retracting back into the tall brush.

The creature watched the other two desperately trying to capturing it, even though it wasn't near them. The alien snaked its blue tail from its hiding spot and tugged on Meow's. It's tail had a hand-like appendage on the end, great for tapping visitors into insanity.

"Where is this stupid thing?" Dandy shouted, frantically grasping in the air for the phantom-like being. The alien eventually gave them a break, as the two were perfectly on-edge. It sat behind a thin tree and laughed at them.

It walked into view behind them, and gave a greeting in its native tongue. Dandy and Meow spun around and studied the creature, startled.

"What the hell is that thing?" Meow asked himself, stepping backwards a bit.

"Kinda looks like you, Meow, 'cept he's not wearing any pants," Dandy said, clutching his gun tightly. The alien was a heavyset, cat-like creature with a long tail. It stood about a foot taller than both of them.

"Absolutely not," Meow muttered. The alien gave the duo a few low, growl-like sounds. "Use the translator," he suggested, subtly inching behind Dandy in fear.

"You two are tourists?" The alien said, sitting down in the grass.

"Uh.. Yeah. What are you exactly?" Dandy asked, relaxing the grip on his gun.

"What am I? I don't know what I am. My name is Vinny, I think." The alien said, playing with his bottom paws.

"'Vinny'? You think?" Dandy was confused about this animal, but he felt more comfortable and pocketed his gun.

"Well, I don't really know what my name is. When others come here, they usually just call me a 'fat cat', whatever that is. So I made up my own."

"Uh, Okay. You ever been registered, buddy?" Dandy asked the thing. Meow stepped out from behind his friend.

"Registered? I don't know what that means." There was a hint of amusement in the alien's eyes.

"All right, you come up to our ship, and we take you to a really fun place. What do you think?"

"I think I like this planet just fine. Why would I leave?"

Meow and Dandy glanced at each other.

"It'll just be for a little bit, then we'll bring you back, okay?"

Vinny smiled and leaned towards them. "Tell you what; I'll go with you guys, if you do something for me."

"I hate hearing that sentence- ah!" Dandy jumped when he felt a large hand on his back. "What, you stupid cat?"

Meow threw his paws up in protest and innocence. "It's not me!"

Vinny started laughing, "You two are funny. And also not smart."

"Hey asshole, you're the prize money here, and we're going to take you to our ship whether you like it or not." The cat was nodding along intently, looking deep into Dandy's eyes, using his tail to gently caress the human around his thighs through his jeans. He stepped away from the touch and quickly grabbed whatever was touching him. He looked down at the turquoise paw in his hand.

"You can reach all the way over here with that?" Meow said, twitching his own tail absentmindedly.

"Oh yeah, it makes things very easy for me. So what were you saying, babe?" Vinny jested, his tail crawling up Dandy's shirt and inching down his jeans.

Dandy shivered and hopped away, holding his jeans by the hem.

"I-I, you..." Dandy stuttered, clearing his throat. Meow cocked his head, unaware of what the other alien was doing.

"You do what I want, I'll do what you want," Vinny's tail stretched over to Meow, stroking under his chin. "Unless you don't want a rare alien being 'registered'."

Meow leaned into his paw, letting out a low purr. Dandy rubbed his arm.

"Uh, what is it you want exactly?" He asked, awkwardly locking his knees together. Vinny grinned, scooting closer to Dandy. He palmed his groin through his jeans and snuck his other paw up his shirt.

"A little fun," he responded. Dandy pulled away, albeit a bit reluctantly.

"Get real, cat. I only screw hot women with big boobs. You definitely don't fit that description," he sneered, tugging awkwardly at his crotch area. He looked over at Meow, who was enjoying the alien's touch immensely.

"Hot women, eh? Too good for me?" Vinny grinned, pulling Dandy towards him with his paws. He quickly undid his belt and snuck his paw under his jeans. "Judging by the way you're squirming, I'd say you're a virgin with a capital 'V'," he murmured, grabbing at his already half-hard dick under his underwear. Meow finally pulled away from Vinny when he heard Dandy let out a guttural moan.

"This is gettin' too weird for me, Dandy. I'm not gay," Meow said, awkwardly rubbing his elbow.

"They all say that; let me tell you, every 'straight' guy that came to this planet in the last year fucked me like a rabbit. Did you know my species self-lubricates? Makes things a lot easier." Vinny chuckled at Meow's embarrassed face. "Your friend here seems to have forgotten all about his boobs."

Dandy gave a deep sigh and decided to indulge in it, as he hadn't had any action remotely intimate in years. He removed his jeans and underwear and groaned when Vinny used both of his paws to massage his thighs and tease his cock. Meow grimaced when he accidentally glanced at his companion's groin, spinning around and shuffling away from the two.

"Missing out, babe," Vinny said, sticking out his small tongue and tapping the head of Dandy's cock. Dandy pulled away in pain.

"Yeouch! Your tongue is sharp," Dandy exclaimed, covering his crotch with his hands.

Vinny giggled, "Sorry. I forgot about that. Our tongues are good for grooming, not blowjobs." At this, Meow threw his hands up in defeat and walked away. "Too weird, sorry guys. I'm gonna go." He jogged off the mulch path and deeper into the forest.

-

The cat alien moved his legs apart, revealing a strange set of genitals. One hole that resembled a human woman's, but a thick, pink penis right above it.

"Whoa," Dandy muttered, unable to remove his eyes from the weird sight.

Vinny held his chest up with his elbows, using his tail to bump Dandy closer to him. "Wanna try it out?" Dandy made a questioning noise, running a hand into his pompadour. He reluctantly knelt down, clearing his throat. "Take it you've never done this before, yeah?"

"Never even had it cross my mind, honestly," Dandy mumbled. "You just... Lick it?"

Vinny laughed. "You can." Dandy very slowly lowered his head towards the prick and poked it with his tongue. When he realized it didn't taste like garbage, he kept his tongue on it for longer. He moved up and down with the tip of it. He opened his mouth and swallowed about an inch of Vinny.

"Doing great, honey," he said, using his tail to rub gentle circles around the other's back.

Dandy used the encouragement to take him deeper, but pulling away just before his gag reflex could act. He panted, letting saliva drip from his lips. Vinny leaned over to the other and kissed him on the mouth. "You're wonderful, Dandy," Vinny said softly, reaching over and kneading his abdomen. Dandy caught his breath and absentmindedly smiled, wiping away saliva with his wrist.

"Fuck me."

"Sorry?"

"I want you to fuck me, Dandy," Vinny spoke lowly, running his paws behind the other's neck and kissing him again. "I've never... I mean I haven't. In a while. Haven't done anything in a few weeks, you know. I might be a little rusty."

"Oh, I'm sure you're fantastic." Vinny rose and bent backwards over a rock.

Dandy stood up, scuffling over to the alien. "That doesn't hurt?"

"A little. I want to watch you," he said, grinning when Dandy cleared his throat and blushed brighter than he already was. Dandy lifted the other's legs onto his shoulders, looking down and studying just what he was about to stick his dick in to. One part was similar to what Dandy often fantasized about, and the other was what he just almost choked on. He took a deep breath and positioned himself right next to the opening.

"Come on Dandy," Vinny whispered, wiggling his hips around him. Dandy finally nudged into him, trembling when he was fully enveloped in the alien.

"O-oh god, Christ. Wow," Dandy was on the verge of drooling, leaning over Vinny on the boulder. Vinny let out a deep sigh and pulled Dandy down closer to him.

"You feel amazing," he said, leaving kisses from his neck to his jaw. Dandy pulled out a bit, then slowly pushed back into him. The insides of Vinny produced mucus like a human's, and was ribbed all around.

Dandy was irregularly thrusting, unable to form a lick of a sentence. Vinny raised his tail and stroked his black hair.

"You're so beautiful." Dandy only wheezed in response, avoiding the alien's gaze. "I love your hair, Dandy. You have such beautiful eyes, too. You're doing so well, you feel wonderful." Dandy tried to cover his face with his hand, blushing excessively from the compliments. Vinny batted it away and smooched him all over.

"I-I'm gonna.. Mmm," Dandy groaned, pressing his forehead against the other.

"Cum in me, honey," Vinny moaned, brushing his now scraggly pompadour away from his eyes.

"In... Inside you? You can't... I mean-," he stuttered. Vinny rolled his eyes.

"No, it's fine. Different species, remember?"

"I'm trying not to," Dandy chuckled, averting his gaze. The cat scoffed, ruffling up his hair to an even worse style. Dandy gave a couple more awkward pumps into the other, releasing into him with heavy pants and grunts. He shuddered violently, balling his hands into fists. Unable to form words, he gave a few more deep sighs and lay on top of Vinny, attempting to catch his breath.

-

After a while, Dandy stood up, face sticky with sweat. He pulled out and let the other stand up from the rock. Vinny immediately leaned forward and brought him into a heated kiss. Dandy reluctantly pulled away and fell to his knees, giving a few pecks to the cock in front of him.

"Whatcha doing, honey?"

"I mean, I guess I should finish the job? Seems kind of rude to just... Leave," Dandy said with a small chuckle, beginning to suck on the very tip. Vinny smiled warmly at the appreciative gesture, reaching down and petting the remains of his pompadour. Dandy slowly lowered his head down, eyes skewered shut in concentration. He made it down to the half-way point, and went back up to the top; he kept up the motion for several moments. Vinny placed his paws on either side of his neck and massaged around his jawbone. Dandy absentmindedly groaned, sending vibrations down onto the alien's member. When he got back to the top, he swirled and flicked his tongue around the sensitive head.

"Doing great, baby. Just a heads up," Vinny said and used his tail to caress Dandy's back lovingly. He took his lips off the other's cock, substituting his mouth for his hands. After a few moments of avoiding the alien's gaze, Dandy glanced upwards to see Vinny staring at him with dilated pupils full of lust. This gave him a twinge of extra arousal, knowing he was able to make someone feel good. Vinny took over for him. "Turn away if you don't want cum all over you," he chuckled, using both of his paws to massage himself. Dandy thought about it, eventually deciding on facing Vinny and closing his eyes. He read that some women like to 'eat' it, so he allowed his mouth to open just an inch. The sight before the alien was mesmerizing; Dandy was knelt down right under his cock, forehead moist with sweat, cheeks red and puffed mouth slightly agape. Vinny let out a few grunts and released onto his face. Dandy flinched at the sudden hot substance streaking across himself; he clamped his mouth shut when he felt something touch his tongue. He swished it around in his mouth and hummed.

"This... This tastes like cherries," he mumbled, but eventually spat it out onto the ground. "Texture is fuckin' gross, though," he grimaced, spitting out any remaining saliva.

"No matter, you did a great job, Dandy. Even if you did last only five minutes," Vinny said with a grin and kissed him on the cheek. Dandy gave a pout and rolled his eyes, pulling up his undergarments and buckling his belt. He stared at the ground awkwardly.

"So... I-I did what you wanted, now come with me to-," Dandy glanced up and saw nothing in front of him. He looked around frantically for the space cat. "V-Vinny? Cat? Alien?" He called out for the other, but got no reply.

-

"What do you mean it got away?" Meow asked when Dandy entered the Aloha Oe.

"He got away! I was just about to bring him in and he was gone," he groaned, clacking his metal boot against the ship's linoleum flooring.

"Maybe he wouldn't have escaped if you didn't screw around with some random alien," Meow retorted and sauntered over to the main couch.

"Whatever. We still have some money left for Boobies tonight," Dandy reached into his back pants pocket and patted around for his wallet. He tried the other side with no results. "The hell? Where's my wallet?" He stuck both of his hands down his jean pockets and pulled out a small yellow note.

"You lost your wallet?" QT asked, starting up the ship's engine.

Dandy read the note in a whisper. "'Thanks for the good time. If you want your wallet back, come and find me! -Vinny'." Dandy crumpled up the note and threw it down onto the floor.

"I'm going to beat the shit out of that cat."

**Author's Note:**

> lmao I'm not sorry at all


End file.
